January 28, 2008

WE ARE.
Unedited

Scaffolding on the sidewalks of New York is all encompassing. When it is gone I have literally left the street that I was on believing I had gotten lost. After returning to the original street, I wonder how come it looks so completely different? After a moment I realize that the scaffolding is missing. The patterns and unveiling of the effect of the habits, people, and patterns of our past, I believe have the exact same effect. When the past is unveiled you can take the same walk but the experience and view is entirely altered.

Since Thanksgiving I have been dealing with a family emergency. In general this experience of near death, family role reversals, boundaries, and returning insecurities, has caused me to take stock of my life as child, adult, past, present and future. The beauty, the tragedy, the spontaneity, drudgery, the laughter, the tears, my fears and my faith. In brief, my financial situation is now utterly altered. When an emergency occurs any and all plans you have fly out of the window. The car needs an $850 repair and what else is there to do during these times except take out the credit card and swipe? The job you have, what else can you do but not be there for two to three weeks at a time regardless of how greatly your paycheck will be affected? In the matters of life and death, sickness and health, financial concerns become "any means necessary." Because what was happening emotionally was very painful and confusing, I returned to my old habits of focusing and fretting about my financial situation.

A few days after returning, I attended a networking event and a young woman had a storytelling business idea and her inner circle of friends and family all told her the reasons why she shouldn't and couldn't. As she shared and experienced the acceptance in the room she said "I had no idea that this existed." She said, "we are who we are because we think..." she paused. She started again and paused looking for me and another woman to fill in the blank. She wanted the perfect phrase to capture the layering that was being lifted and cleared. The emotional swirl of my last two months, like her, I had been grasping for a phrase to have it all make sense. I couldn't so I focused on beating myself up over my finances. She tried three more times and finally it came to me. "We Are" period. I realized that the extraneous words she and I were seeking to complete a phrase, are the tiers of scaffolding we use to position ourselves in the world. When we have the moment or the gift to end up, where our core can be free - it allows us to truly appreciate who we are. This young woman discovering it for the first time and me being reminded of how much scaffolding I'd left behind.

The wide eyed look in this young woman’s eyes was her "being". She had expressed her core and was so moved when the environment she was in embraced her. The phrase WE ARE... PERIOD falling from my lips, allowed me to be where I was, be where my life is now - free and embraced. And have compassion for myself and how much scaffolding I've made the choice to free myself from.

As I will continue this year to devote a lot of time to specific financial resources and ideas, please remember that our finances, our families, our material possessions do not define who we are. They are external scaffolding that can at any time be cleared. The experience of awe, of loving self, comes when we have the courage to express from our core and place ourselves in environments when who we truly are is not only understood but encouraged and embraced.



PLAN OF ACTION:
Remember family and friends can often be our greatest source of scaffolding.
What occurs if you take a walk on a scaffold free street and journey within?


Next week I will discuss brokerage firms and investing. If you are currently with a brokerage firm, please email me by February 1, 2008 at emotionalmoney@gmail.com to share your experiences and recommendations.


Thank you for reading!






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