July 24, 2007

OUT DAMNED SPOT

A few weeks ago I was running for the train and wearing my cute new sandals. My exposed big toe banged into the raised sidewalk - suddenly there I was, 7:00 a.m. in the morning and sprawled on the ground. Raising myself up, though embarassed, I noticed there was a red blood clot on my big toe. It was sore, but mostly I hated the way that it looked. Trying to hide it, I curled my big toe which meant that all my toes were curled. I wondered how long this ugly spot would be there? Forever, I thought.

Many of my customers have spent time "working" on themselves. They've done years of therapy, attended seminars and have spent many hours discussing their "issues." They find themselves frustrated because they recreate the same patterns despite the work they've done. However, as the weeks pass, and through our discussions and excercises, they are astounded to realize that so many of their decisions today are in response to certain incidences from their past. It is the acknowledgement of admitting to ourselves how much that past incident affected us, that provides the opportunity for it to be released. Discussing the incident is one layer - tracing it to discover how much it affects all of our decisions and the state of our lives today - results in its release.


Begin Dream Sequence:
With my toes curled, and me trying to hide my blemish, of course, it affected the way I moved. I start feeling pain in my hips. I'll spend a lot of time going to the doctors, reading about chronic hip problems and talk to all my friends about their pains. Finally, I find a remedy for the hip pain. Although, I'm not willing to recall the painful memories of being at the pool. As a child, when my feet were peeling and the kids were making fun of me, I fought back my tears of shame. As an adult, I didn't return to the root of the problem: the pain hidden and stored by my body and mind was never released. Now, I just see that there is a ugly spot on my toe and I feel horrible about it. I continue to pretend that "I am fine" as I did when I was a child. My actions and reactions will now become about hiding, pretending, making sure that no one sees that spot so I won't be made fun of again. A friend invites me to come over. I know shoes have to be removed upon entering her house. Instead of talking about the blemish, I might say my hip still hurts, or let's go out. Everything I do will stem from the root of this original pain and I begin to believe that this is simply who I am.


Recently, I inspected my big toe again, expecting to find a permanent mark. I decided to touch it. With one gentle pluck, the red piece of skin fell. Underneath there was clean, clear skin. Free of blemishes. Beautiful and healed.


In that moment, I was reminded of the power and wonder of nature. The body is always naturally trying to heal itself. Always. Through each fall, scrape, bruise, abuse, failure or mistake, our cells will replenish and heal us over a lifetime. My blemish was already healed. I had to have the courage to touch it again.


PLAN OF ACTION:
Touch your root wound.
Trace it to your behaviors today.


Next week "EMOTIONAL MONEY" INTERVIEW:
Cynthia Magg - Turtle Bay Nutrition
This nutritional counselor was once a pastry chef.
Don't miss her story and nutrition tips!


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