May 15, 2007


OUR MOTHERS WITHIN

Stopping in Jamestown, on a roadtrip with my mother to see my grandmother, we observe a mother and daughter spew venom toward each other at the Bob Evans. The daughter is in her early to mid-twenties. After being informed that her mother was there, she comes from the back with a scowl on her face. Her mother says she overheard she was getting off at 2pm and since she was on this side of town she thought she'd see what she was going to be doing now. It was clear she was being checked on. The daughter knowing this, answered every question asked with "I don't know." Both of their scowls getting worse. My mother and I raised our menus in the hopes that we could disappear. Their pain masked in scowls was unbearable to observe on this day before Mother's Day.

My mother has always been my best friend. I've always known I was lucky to have a mother who always made it clear to me that I was loved. No matter my faults, mistakes and bad choices, I knew I was loved. This is a true gift. In a world that can be quite cruel, knowing I was loved gave me a magnificient headstart. My grandmother was the beginning of this path-she forged new territory, not from what she experienced from her family, but from what she knew to be possible from her own heart. My family dynamic could have been exactly what I had observed in Jamestown. My grandmother chose to start a new path for her children-my mother and uncle and me. I've always celebrated my mother and grandmother on Mother's Day. It's my chance to honor two amazing women who have made my journey so much easier than their own. Two woman who are leaders, movers and shakers and have spent their lives placing the needs, dreams and desires of those around them ahead of their own. I thank you so very much mommy, Sharon Ball and grandma, Eunice Simpson for being my "mothers." I love you!!!

If either scenario rings true for you; you and your mother are enemies, best friends or you don't know each other, how much longer will it be the source of the "scowl" or "smile" on your face? While having a glorious headstart-I was always reminded by my friends how lucky I was-and I was. However, my greatest lesson and I was reminded standing in the Bob Evans, was that until we love ourselves no love from the outside will ever be enough. Until I learned to love myself I continously made choices that made my life difficult. The mother in this situation had to know that she would not be embraced showing up at her daughter's job unannounced when their relationship clearly didn't have a track record of kindnesses such as "stopping by because she was on that side of town..." She left the restaurant, without her daughter, livid. But how could her daughter have gone with her? How could the mother have expected to have left any way except livid (disappointed)? My choices of relationships, community, career and my daily existance was to prove to myself that I wasn't worthy of the love I received from my mothers. Once I embraced myself, I was amazed by the abundance of love that I received not only from my mothers but from my community and from nature. This love surrounds each and every one of us. Most often it's right there but we scowl and bat away even the possibility of finding it by setting up situations that will keep love at bay. Embrace and love yourself FIRST. May we each forge a new path, as my grandma did and lay the scowls to rest. There's laughter, hugs, smiles and kisses directly on the other side-it's from within. Thank you grandma for loving your mother within enough to forge an entirely new path for your children. May we all love our "mother" within and pass that LOVE on to our children, our communities and our world.!


"All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today." Unknown


Action: Look in a mirror. To whom do you scowl? What would happen if you smiled?


UPCOMING EVENT

Suffering from the Sugar blues?
Constantly craving sweets and want to understand why?
Want to gain control without willpower or deprivation?
Please join Maria Sacks
Holistic Health & Nutrition Counselor
For a free lecture on
Wednesday, May 23rd
7:00-8:30 pm at
Pilates Studio
20 Lumber Road, 2nd Floor
(off Old Northern Blvd., opposite the Clock Tower)
Roslyn

For details please call (516)876-2628 or
Email mariasacks@optonline.net




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