October 20, 2008

SLEEP, FOOD, FEAR, DENIAL...


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Anais Nin


I went to a workshop that I had no idea would actually NOT feature the person speaking, because she was a channeler. She channeled a spirit regarding money matters. The guides told us to have hope which leaves the door open for possibilities, and to give from the heart. The guide explained that what has occurred today was because money was being "held" on to, not acknowledging the structures of the universe - abundance. Money is an energy and any energy, like water, "held" needs and must find a way to escape. You have to have a way in the system for the energy of money to be let go of or given away or else it'll find its own way to escape. The guests left the room feeling more assured than when they came in, but I wondered what happens when they return home and see their retirements, job and/or paychecks have dipped again? Whether you believe in channelers or not - my question is do you believe in yourself? We are in a system that with the current crisis, the solution is to pump 700 billion more dollars into the system, create credit, credit, credit. The powers that be saying, "come on people, turn your beliefs around, have no fear, buy, buy, buy." People are instead scared and running, holding on and seeking answers and distraction outside of themselves and their own homes. The solution, like the problem, tries to skip over the time and tension needed for an authentic bloom. Without it, there's no authentic transformation, people aren't buying into the rhetoric, outside or their own, they can't. There can be no built confidence because this fictitious 700 billion dollars no one can really lay their hands on or feel that the same thing won't just happen again. No trust or character is found in that system. We do this in our lives daily. We pick the easy way out and so no trust or character is built to learn and teach us to trust ourselves.

This past month I chose the easy ways again, sleep, food, fear, denial, turn to others to get answers, they say get a job, I try to convince myself to give up this business, stop going to meditation, stop working out. What happened to the transformation I was living every day? It was scary and pushing me up against things I didn't feel I had all the answers to...scary. I needed a break. Sleep, food, fear, denial, turn to others to get answers, they say get a job, I try to convince myself to give up this business, stop going to meditation, stop working out. As soon as I became conscious again, forced to because my friends are also up to practicing living authentically. They decided to come to the meditation so that forced me to have to get out of bed. Just being in the environment after meditation and the conversations, whew, I couldn't deny I had slipped to laying back AGAIN. No wonder I had stopped coming to meditation. I felt safer in bed but man I was miserable. Safe in fear but miserable. But because I was at the meditation center and willing to admit and be aware, all sorts of opportunities arose. Attending the workshop, being on a world wide teleconference call the next day with people living on the edge, *having a conversation that suddenly altered the name of me and Carol's upcoming workshop, a free massage, an opportunity to volunteer at a spiritual book store where in exchange I'll receive free yoga classes, two customers resurfacing wanting to start again, even finding a new church. Mostly what resurfaced, was possibility! Scary and unsafe but wow safety and familiarity keeps getting me a bigger waistline, sleep and lots of misery.


Don't you really believe deep inside you that really, despite the papers and rumors and Wall Street and War somewhere deep inside, you know that everything is going to be okay? Pay attention to that voice - burn through the surface fears, take responsibility and take action, for yourself and your life and join with others willing to do the same in theirs. If you want to go toward a different conversation, below I will list several places where hope, possibilities, and transformation of consciousness is the practice. Visit any one of these and experience the possibilities away from the drone of the fears. Dare to bloom and place yourself in a context closer to your core. There is where we can grow and learn to trust our own character. As the guides informed us - it's not the "systems" fault, we can't change a system - it's the humans that make up the system, transform the people and only then will the system be changed.


PLAN OF ACTION:
Dare to place yourself in environments and around others that support YOUR BLOOM:

www.enlightennext.org every Thursday 7pm-10:30pm
http://www.andrewcohen.org/ny/

www.sacredcenterny.org every Sunday at 11am-12:30pm

Wednesday, October 29th, 6pm-8pm $35.00
You Power Money: An Empowering & Inspiring seminar addressing the emotional, spirtual and practical pieces of your financial life.
Carol Buchman, CPA & Financial Planner & I, Emotional Money Healer & Guide at
243 West 30th Street, 11th Floor (1 block from Penn station)

*Formerly named "Empowering & Inspiring Your Financial Goddess" - as I was discussing my concern about the seminar I had just attended, which I talk about in the blog above, creating an "outside self" model, it was pointed out to me that that was what the title of our seminar also invoked. By "opening up" the title, it also allowed us to open it to anyone, male & female ready to transform their personal and financial lives starting from the inside. Thank you Shelley, Linda, Holly, Lauralee, Carol & Charlotte!)

When you feel afraid refer to Mark's words below, carry it with you and choose to act towards your transformation.

Moving Through the Dark
Mark Nepo

In nature, we are quietly given countless models of how to give
ourselves over to what appears dark and hopeless, but which ultimately
is an awakening beyond all imagining. All around us, everything small
and buried surrenders to a process that none of the buried parts can
see. We call this process seeding. And this innate surrender allows
everything edible and fragrant to break ground into a life of light that
we call spring. As a seed buried in the earth can’t imagine itself as
an orchid or hyacinth, neither can a heart packed with hurt or a mind
filmed over with despair imagine itself loved or at peace. The courage
of the seed is that, once cracking, it cracks all the way. This moving
through the dark into blossom is the threshold to God. And the devotion
of the living to move through the dark into blossom is the work of
soul.
*****************************************
These reflections are excerpts from several books, including a new book
of poems, Surviving Has Made Me Crazy, CavanKerry Press, and a new book
of spiritual non-fiction, Facing the Lion, Being the Lion: Inner Courage
and Where It Lives, Red Wheel/Conari Press. For more info, please visit
www.MarkNepo.com.



SAMARRA AM MANAGEMENT EVENTS
Wednesday, October 22nd, 7pm-8pm Free - Amanda Wiss: Professional Organizer
CANCELLED - Rescheduled for Monday, January 26, 2009. Thank you Amanda for your continued generosity. To learn more, please visit her at www.urbanclarity.net.

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Copyright 2008