July 14, 2008


I'M BACK & ALIGNED


My last entry was on May 30, 2008. I apologize for disappearing. I have missed you. I was missing me. I couldn't write any longer about having the courage to follow your core and holding yourself responsible and accountable for your life when I wasn't.

As many of you know I have been in a battle around trying to get rid of my debt, I have been working in a job that pays weekly but that was mind numbing, I gained 30 pounds, and my relationships have been learning experiences that have ended.

I've been doing the same thing and I've been getting the same results. However after losing my grandmother, I could no longer believe that I have all the time in the world or that my life and what I choose to do with it and in it doesn't matter. I became very aware of how small I play, hiding behind my fears and plain ole "I don't wanna" 2 year old behaviors. But I didn't take any actions around this realization except to continue to hide. But then allowing myself to be in a different relationship meant I had to take action if I wanted different results. I am with someone now that knows who he is and is mature and doesn't react to my 2 old tantrums. When there is someone in your life that knows who they are and knows and respects your highest self, the lack of drama is...new, scary and very different. I couldn't just think that I was mature and grown, I had to actually practice BEING that. It's very challenging but also very freeing. Conversation, communication, accountability and responsibility practiced by both adults leaves little room for drama, misunderstandings and uncontrollable fears. Of course, once I chose to take on the challenge of this lens, I was also able to clearly see how my choices around my business, my eating habits and staying at my job were also products of my 2 year old behaviors. To each of these very important areas of my life, I could give as much or as little as I felt like on my own terms. If I had to do something a little more challenging outside of my comfort zone I could resort to "I don't wanna" and I wouldn't. My life has greatly improved but the freedom, abundance, and impact I dream of, I am not even close. Taking on the challenge has been worth it in my relationship, and each day I have to chose to take on the challenge and quiet the habit of “I don’t wanna.”

I decided to rejoin weight watchers. I had to admit to myself that I need the support to help me continuously be accountable to work out, plan my meals and eat healthily. I can't afford to pretend that food isn't my drug of choice. For my lifetime I will need to stay with a supportive structure around my relationship to food. It doesn't mean that it won't get easier but it does mean that I'll need to stay within a structure to be able to maintain and sustain my goal weight. I have 3 pounds to go!

My job provided me with a nice security blanket. The cost was that I was bored out of my mind. And it allowed me to not have to give my all to my business. First, I tried to change my hours at my job. That made me happy for about a week. But the drain of a job that I really hated, made me so tired everyday that I didn't have the energy to do my business. Whatever the benefits, they no longer mattered, I was miserable and truly dreaded Mondays. We moved floors where I was now going to be relegated to a 6 foot cubicle, little light and no window. That was it. I quit and amazingly have been busy with new customers and contacts ever since. I'm wide awake and fully energized. I sat down to write my blog and this time my fingers kept moving.

My debt; well all I can say is that is where my attention was focused and it would go down almost to nothing and bam something else would occur. Since my focus has usually been on lack - then no matter what I've done that is where I've ended. I worked that job to take care of my debt and it's still there. So... how about I try something I've never ever dared try before. Holding myself accountable and responsible for my actions, desires and wishes. When things stop going my way, I'll keep going anyway. I will be debt free. But in the mean time I will be focusing my attention on abundance and being free. I've seen it with my customers so I know it's true - when we focus on our core and take action from there, everything else falls in place. Those things, actions, people and debts that are not in alignment with our core, fall away.

I feel a security and confidence that I have never felt before. The only constant in life is change. And I would be naive to say that I won't have some rough patches or periods of doubt but my underlying foundation is to faith, maturity, responsibilty and abundance.

Emotional Money will be posted and sent every Monday.
Stay tuned for my upcoming regular free seminar series and new product announcements. Originally when I envisioned this blog I envisioned it as a dialog among me and the readers. As we enter into our third year together - I really invite you to share your story, your questions, issues and concerns. When we remain alone - we really see and attract to us that which we already know. It's been a month and a half and my life is...unrecognizable in every area. I thank you for being a part of Emotional Money. September 4th will be its 3 year anniversary! I hope it has been as helpful and inspirational to you as it has been for me. Another major clue to myself that I wasn't completely in alignment was that I was writing my blog later and later each week until I just couldn't write it at all. I'm Back and Aligned.


I'm looking forward to continued growth. May we all grow in abundance, peace, and inspiration TOGETHER one moment, one minute, one hour, one day, one month, one year at a time. Life is a gift. LET'S LIVE FREE, FULFILLED and INSPIRED!


PLAN OF ACTION:
Please share your thoughts, suggestions and/or questions at emotionalmoney@gmail.com
What have you been up to for yourself and your life since May 30th?

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Any affirmations, suggestions, requests, job notices, teleseminars or events please email me at emotionalmoney@gmail.com. Any comments regarding any of the weekly "Emotional Money" issues please post and join in the conversation. To unsubscribe to "Emotional Money" weekly ezine type in subject line "unsubscribe Emotional Money." To unsubscribe to all notices regarding Samarra Am Management events type in subject line "unsubscribe Samarra Am Management."

Copyright 2008